What's In YOUR Wallet?

Since I have a few moments to rant....I am going to post (finally) my current tribulations!! Life has an insane way of getting out of control without even REALIZING it!

Well, we finally had a little getaway last weekend, only to see the poor Cardinals get stomped by Detroit, fry the bottom of my feet at Six Flags (I would have thought the WATER park would have had WATER on their sidewalks....hmmm), and laugh my ass off when a poor unknowing sole had Llama spit for his afternoon snack!! It was a much needed getaway, with loads of laughter. I am sure you are wondering if this trip was our traditional "get-the-hell-out-of-dodge" trip we take each year with another "not quite right" family--it was indeed! This year, however, beer did not fall out of the back of the van w/ Miss KK's bra for all to see! I enjoy each year....new FUNNY adventures every year!

So, for my belly ache for the day....lost my wallet. Like, pulled into Casey's for my rice krispy treat and had no wallet, kind of lost. I looked like a crazed lunatic, tearing my car apart, looking for my oh-so-cute zebra striped wallet. NOT THERE!! WTF??? Luckily, I have "saved" winning scratch off lotto tickets for a rainey day, and cashed those bad boys in so I could eat my Snap-Crackle-Pop treat! I didn't call FarmBoy--why give him a reason to complain! HA! I just figured I would look for it when I returned to my construction site of a home later tonite.

WELL..............

FarmBoy called.

FarmBoy: "Are you missing anything?"

FarmGirl: (cautiously) "Why?"
FarmBoy: (toying with me) "Just curious."

Silence

FarmGirl: "Oh for crying out loud...what is it?"
FarmBoy: (smugly) "Someone says they found your wallet along the highway....3 towns over."

(Shit shit shit)

FarmGirl: (trying to save face) "Ya, so?"
FarmBoy: "Do you want their number?" (I just can see him smiling, saving this "haha" for a rainey day)
FarmGirl: (sigh) "Ya, what is it?"

I called the lady, who found HALF my wallet, minus the cash and checkbook. Tonite I will begin my scavenger hunt for the other half of my wallet.

GOOD GRIEF!!

Beyonce Watch OUT!

Ok, long time, no blog! I came across this today (my pal Carla sent it) and I just had to take 2 minutes to post! Hope you all enjoy!

It's been nutty around here.....basketball tournaments are our life! March it will all die down and I will be BACK!! Yee Haw!!

The "LOOK"-- Are YOU Scared?

Our family is wacko...as I am sure you all have figured out by now. I have modified these 2 photos (into cartoon---ooohh ahhhhhh) from our Christmas trip to Branson. Ky and I were patiently waiting for our food (seriously, we TRIED being patient--for like 10 minutes!!) at FudRuckers and practicing our "Nana Look" on the cashier. (We were hungry...and bored!! So what the hey?!) Now this is a serious matter, because all who have seen this look can attest that it is indeed intimidating, and yes, even scary. So here we were, a bunch of rednecks, playing with the camera, and getting a bit antsy for our chow. FarmBoy was enjoying the free entertainment as we kept making eye contact with the little cashier lady. Needless to say, I do not think our "look" caused her fear...if anything, I am sure she was thinking, "WTF!!!....Freaks!"

My momma is the only one who can get the men working and the kids quiet with this look. I must catch up with her soon to try to perfect this.

(Mom...I know you are reading this.....and it is funny, ok!! I need to get a pic of you making this look, so I can practice on FarmBoy and Ky!! Love ya!! Hug Hug!!)

BTW...even in cartoon funk, isn't Ky just the cutest thing! (ahh to be young again!! What a crappy cliche--but oh so true!!) I wish we had taken a video clip of this....we were just rip-roaring laughing because no matter HOW hard we tried, our food took for flippin' ever to make!! But it was SOOO yummy!!!

Kiss My GRITS!!

So I was minding my own business....trying to get in the Monday groove. {{It did not help that the dang bus was 12 min early, so I had to take Ky to school. Why oh why could I not have been off work today?}}

ANYWAY....(sheesh, I really AM easily distracted) phones were ringing and I was running to the back phone while on the cordless {{pray tell why no one can get line 2 to ring up front....maybe it is BossMan's kind way of telling me to get off my badonka donk??? hmmmm}}

My story....OKAY! Ringing phone in back...as I answered it, I had to stiffle a SHRIEK because the biggest, HAIRY ASS mouse ran right in front of me!!! Being that I am so quick and limber, I hopped (or thumped) onto the desk. The little sucker turned around and LOOKED at me and ran for cover!!

{{Alright, I am a FarmGirl, and I know that if there is ONE, then there are FIVE!! I do not know how the "math" works, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.}}

I manage to get thru the phone conversation, (I still do not know who called or why....YIKES!!) and I quicky sprint into the front show room, crawl into my chair, and call BossMan. He says, "FarmGirl, chill" as he listens to my crazy talk! I explain to him that I suffered thru the "bug" problem (don't even ask...it was TERRIBLE), but that I could NOT handle lice infested mice running amuck!! Again, "FarmGirl chill" (he likes to embrace his heritage when I am wiggin' out)

After a few deep breaths, I called FarmBoy! Who, of course, immediately laughed his ASS off!! He has SEEN my quick, limber moves before and just kept laughing and saying...."Oh I can just see YOU FARMGIRL!!!" {{hoot hoot....cackle cackle}} He is not a very gracious hubby, is he??? hmpf!

It took me about 10 minutes to "brave" to the back of the store,where the crime went down, but I had to! My breakfast was back there! So I tiptoed back and slowly made the corner to the "snack" area (this is a closet w/ a mini-mini frig & microwave)and low and behold the little MF'r ate my package of grits!!!! And there is mouse crap all over the freakin' microwave!! So I threw all my potential mouse food into the mini-mini frig and ran for cover!! Can you BELIEVE IT?? The little punk ATE MY GRITS!!!

I have been sitting up front, the rest of the morning, with my feet perched on the rollers of my desk chair. BossMan will be here soon, with traps. And he has another thing coming if he thinks I am capable of disposing of slain mice bodies!!

I still cannot believe that my breakfast is now feeding the mouths of a thieving mice community. All I have to say about that is...yep, you guessed it....KISS MY GRITS!!!!

Language of Women---9 Tips

Ok, so it has been MONTHS since I posted anything really interesting or worthy reading. Time has just gotten the best of me.....for now anyway. This morning, I decided I needed a breather, so I was catching up on emails and got this one from my pal Liz. In my mind, I was thinking, "How appropriate...perfect timing". With that said, I have printed this to share with FarmBoy tonite...you know, to "help him along". I then decided to post it here too. I know men in general struggle with understanding women, but there are times where it is really a no brainer!! Here is a recent example of FarmBoy's brilliance. I encourage you all to post a story about a man you love, a story that will have us all mesmerized with their super intelligence! (ok, I even rolled my eyes as I was typing this....ooooh, and again....CRAZY!!)

FarmBoy's Smart Story

Work is busy....farming is done......so he calls (yesterday at 11am).....

FarmBoy: "FarmGirl, how many packages of fish do you want me to put out for supper?"
FarmGirl: "Two."
FarmBoy: "Are you sure?"

(My phone at work is just ringing off the hook, I put him on hold)

FarmGirl: "I gotta go....it's busy today."
FarmBoy: "So how many packages?"
FarmGirl: "Two."
FarmBoy: "Don't you think that will be too much?"

(I am getting a little annoyed now....)

FarmGirl: "Fine, one."
FarmBoy: "Well, I'll just put out two."
FarmGirl: (large sigh) "Whatever. Sounds good."
FarmBoy: "You're sure that isn't too much?"

(Ok......at this point, bodily harm comes to mind. Are we seriously having this conversation???)

FarmGirl: (in a short, quiet voice) "If you knew the answer to your question, then why are you calling me? One.... Two.... I really do NOT care---I have to go."

(phone's ringing again)

FarmBoy: (still not having a clue) "Oh, you're busy? Call me back later."

(I am staring at the phone....is this really happening?)

FarmGirl: (in my sticky sweet voice) "Bye" (ya know the "bye", where the "y" is held extra long???)

So based on this story, I think FarmBoy needs a "gentle" reminder of our language....I dropped a few "fines" and "whatevers", but he still struggled with the situation. God Bless him.

Oh, and when I got home, TWO packages were out!! Go figure!!

9 Tips on the Language of Women

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying ______ YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Yes...I am still ALIVE!!

Holy COW!! What a chaotic little world I have been living in lately! I can hardly believe that it is November, let alone MID November! So much has been going on...yet when I was chatting with a pal yesterday and they asked, "So where have you BEEN FarmGirl?" I simply did not know....where have I been? What HAVE I been doing? Hell if I know...I just know that Christmas is nipping at my heels and I have lost that summer tan....what the HECK is up with that?

So how does time pass us by so quick? What is really so important that you lose contact with friends for a week or more at a time? Life....that is what happens. It seems that I have so little time lately, that what time I DO have, I am trying to spend it with FarmBoy and Ky. But that is the story of everyone's life, right!! I just am not a good time manager, and I tend to be a little OCD when it comes to my job--I just cannot relax if I have things that need to get done. If I leave work with a big fat list of things to do....even if I AM home...I tend to fret about what is left at work. Personal problem.....I know.

(I am checking my photobucket for cools pics...be back.....)

Ok....I don't even have any cool pics to share...now that is SAD!! (Ok...mental note...I need to get a grip on my life.) Who goes a full month without taking a picture? Now I am frustrated! I had no idea until I just went to my photobucket, that I have NO PICS!! Not even ones that need to be downloaded! Crap, crap, crap!

Enough whining...I know! I like lists, so I will make a list now as to what we have been doing....maybe then it will make me feel like I haven't lost an entire month.

1. Farming - FarmBoy has been hard at it. We still have corn and beans in the fields, but I think (I really don't know for sure) the wheat is in. I love the wheat...it gets green so early in the spring, when everything is all brown and dead from winter. Wheat symbolizes hope for me....

2. Ky - I am so proud of her. She has been selected for the National Young Scholars Program. How is it that a child, meerly 10 yrs old, can be so incredibly grown up? And how did it happen? (Again...I have issues with time--DUH!) She was nominated by her teacher and principal for her "ability to demonstrate exceptional maturity, scholastic merit and leadership..." Talk about puffing up like a big ole' rooster! I have been strutting around, eager to tell anyone who will listen! It is a week program (out of state....yikes!) that will stimulate her creativity/curiosity with fun, engaging projects. No parents are allowed AND it costs $1900...but we are looking at maybe a fundraiser/sponsership. So I have been trying to research fund availability...in my free time of course!!

3. House - This is ticking me off. We spoke with a contractor 3 mos ago, he gave us a bid, and gave us a worst-case-scenario date of Nov 1. Go ahead...ask me......the answer is............... NOOOO!! He has not been by, called--nada. So FarmBoy called him on Friday to find out what was going on (he was worried about what I would say....so he called instead of me) Well, Mr. Hawkins (ya...I said his name...so THERE!!) forgot about us! Can you believe that! FarmBoy asked when he could fit us in...he said mid-December! FarmBoy let him know that his wife was not going to be too thrilled about this, and let him know we would call him back. Needless to say, FarmBoy was defending this joker before he even told me what happened (the male species cracks me up!) And now it is the principal of the matter....I can't get anyone to put our windows in any sooner, but I'll be damned if Matt or his dad touches my windows. I mean, seriously.....if you don't want to do the job, then say it....I CAN handle the truth. But no, the 2 jerks stood in my living room singing the song I wanted to hear, instead of being honest...saying that they would not have the time to get to it. Well BITE ME!! I've gone this long with those rickety old ass windows, I can wait until spring!! In the mean time, I will be running my big ass mouth to anyone that listens to me.....and get this......we were paying cash!! And they were getting $1000 to do a 2 day job...CASH!!! Freakin' morons!! I can see it now...I am going to have to buy one of those DIY videos at Home Depot on how to install windows, and I will be out there this spring trying out my new "trade". Now that, folks, is some funny shit.....cuz I am NOT handy...I am crafty (and a little bitchy), but NOT handy!

Ok....enough for now. But all is well in my neck of the woods....just working like a mad dog. I know I won't get to post much...at least for a week or so, so I must let you know what has me all excited this week.......TWILIGHT!! Check out the movie trailer....I am pumped up....so who else is going to be seeing this???




Have a wonderful week everyone....I do miss chatting with you all...I have been a bad bloggy friend. I will return soon! I will try to stop by and visit you all! Thanks for thinking of me!! TaTa for now!!

I've been TAGGED!!

Tina Bug has tagged me, so here are a few random facts about me (I know you have all been dying to learn more!! HA!)

1. I do NOT like nuts in my brownies, cookies, bread...NADA! If I want nuts in my food I will add it myself, thank you very much!

2. I love LOVE auctions. My record to date is about 6 hrs and 10 minutes. And boy oh boy...did I get me some DEALS!!!

3. I am dreadfully hateful when overheated....I am actually thinking of tatoo'ing a warning label, just in case!

4. I start playing Christmas music around Halloween...right now I have found my Point of Grace Christmas CD. I am trying to be strong and not play it, but I "fondled" it this morning....and I am thinking my will-power to resist is about out.

5. Speaking of Christmas, I am also considering watching ELF this weekend! I just love that movie!! (Can you tell, I LOVE Christmas)

6. My beloved friend, Ang, (she posted a few comments on the post previous to this) thinks I am crazy....as I am getting a 2nd job for this Christmas season. I hate to do it, but I don't want to stress about the money this year...and I love GIVING presents and I MUST go to Branson, MO....not an option!

7. I love Branson, MO....I just love it. Walking along the Landing--wandering aimlessly into the yummy shops, watching the ducks, listening to the music on the streets. I love strolling along the cobblestone road, the sidewalk vendors....and Joe's Crabshack! Our favorite time to go is in the winter, before Christmas. The Festival of Lights cannot compare to ANY light show I have ever been to. Just thinking about it makes me all giddy....I have attached the infamous Christmas Tree Lighting at Silver Dollar City--it is what they call "An Old Time Christmas". Many types of Christmas music, from Polar Express to some of my favorite Trans-Siberian Orchestra, fills the cool night air. Our entire family loves going here each year--even FarmBoy has started talking about going again.


So I know it is not Christmas yet, shoot, not even Halloween! Funny how my "random" facts has lead me into Christmas...and yes, I know I have problems!!



And that is all I wrote....mainly because I am currently bombarded with a crap load of work and shouldn't even be posting...but I just cannot resist!! I hope you all enjoyed!! Whoever wants to play along, please feel free to. Post a comment so that we can all go check out how incredibly "normal" you are!! Oh, and YEE HAW!!

Happy Fall Ya'll

We went on a little adventure out into our woods Monday night, "Checking out the crops," as FarmBoy would say. Old Blue (now that is a classic farm truck if I have ever seen one) hauled us up the "old lane", Ky riding in the back with our other "puppies" and Little Man (who you met earlier this week) riding in the front seat between hubby and myself. This photo is of some of our corn on the east side of the woods. In the background, you can see that the woods surround this field--a great place for deer hunting (I only shoot with my camera!)



As you can see, it may be Autumn, but our leaves are still green, or all gone! I have GOT to plant some maples out here!!




Around to the right, there is a big clearing (our neighbor bails hay here) surrounded by woods. It is so amazing (so much so that I forgot to take a picture!!) to walk into the woods, so peaceful...and cool. In the summer, I will sometimes take Ole Blue and sit on the tailgate and read (FarmBoy brush hogs into the woods so I won't trip--I am a bit accident prone, go figure!) because it is always 10 degrees cooler in there. Well, long story short (ya right) we will take apples, melons, pumpkins, etc that have gone bad out there for the deer to eat...but we always throw the fruit at the trees, you know, to watch the fruit blow up. It is a great way to release tension, and we all know that Monday, after my car vs garage incident, I needed this. A blast was had by all...though FarmBoy was bummed because he had the biggest "air ball" of us all, which made Ky and I VERY pleased!!

We finally headed back, though Ky scrunched in the front with us...it was pretty chilly. It is truly amazing how quickly it is getting dark now. I truly love this time of year, but hate to see the sun go down. This next pic is taken of the good ole' Mid-West Sky...I just love the amber colors.



So take a minute sometime soon and enjoy this beautiful time of year--Happy Fall Ya'll!

Freakin' Hilarious!!

Ok...I accidently stumbled across this and I wasn't impressed UNTIL I saw his "fatal" move! I cannot stop laughing!! The outfit is so funky fresh...I think I am going to get one for FarmBoy!! Enjoy!!! I sure as hell did!!