What's In YOUR Wallet?

Since I have a few moments to rant....I am going to post (finally) my current tribulations!! Life has an insane way of getting out of control without even REALIZING it!

Well, we finally had a little getaway last weekend, only to see the poor Cardinals get stomped by Detroit, fry the bottom of my feet at Six Flags (I would have thought the WATER park would have had WATER on their sidewalks....hmmm), and laugh my ass off when a poor unknowing sole had Llama spit for his afternoon snack!! It was a much needed getaway, with loads of laughter. I am sure you are wondering if this trip was our traditional "get-the-hell-out-of-dodge" trip we take each year with another "not quite right" family--it was indeed! This year, however, beer did not fall out of the back of the van w/ Miss KK's bra for all to see! I enjoy each year....new FUNNY adventures every year!

So, for my belly ache for the day....lost my wallet. Like, pulled into Casey's for my rice krispy treat and had no wallet, kind of lost. I looked like a crazed lunatic, tearing my car apart, looking for my oh-so-cute zebra striped wallet. NOT THERE!! WTF??? Luckily, I have "saved" winning scratch off lotto tickets for a rainey day, and cashed those bad boys in so I could eat my Snap-Crackle-Pop treat! I didn't call FarmBoy--why give him a reason to complain! HA! I just figured I would look for it when I returned to my construction site of a home later tonite.

WELL..............

FarmBoy called.

FarmBoy: "Are you missing anything?"

FarmGirl: (cautiously) "Why?"
FarmBoy: (toying with me) "Just curious."

Silence

FarmGirl: "Oh for crying out loud...what is it?"
FarmBoy: (smugly) "Someone says they found your wallet along the highway....3 towns over."

(Shit shit shit)

FarmGirl: (trying to save face) "Ya, so?"
FarmBoy: "Do you want their number?" (I just can see him smiling, saving this "haha" for a rainey day)
FarmGirl: (sigh) "Ya, what is it?"

I called the lady, who found HALF my wallet, minus the cash and checkbook. Tonite I will begin my scavenger hunt for the other half of my wallet.

GOOD GRIEF!!

What a day....

A typical Monday, some would say, but since when did waking up and going to work COST money? Leave it to me...I'd find a way. When the alarm went off this morning (when I thought it was Sunday), I should have just stayed put. We all were running around frantic-like, trying to figure out if it was Sunday or Monday...the arrival of the schoolbus confirmed it was indeed Monday. **UGH**

Pulling out of the garage was the icing on the cake...especially because my husband was there to witness my little "altercation" with the garage. It looked like I would truly prevail....I folded in the cotton-pickin mirrors and all!! (My Pacifica barely wedges in, maybe 2 inches to spare each side...may-be) Well, I guess it's a good thing I am not a gambler, because the garage won....$336 worth of damage! Can you IMAGINE!! I was freakin' fuming!

Called insurance (I have not had a ticket or claim in over 7 yrs) and those pocket book leeches told me that if I claimed it, it would cost me THREE POINTS!!! What does that mean, you ask....it means MORE money in premiums!! I have paid over...(I am getting a calulator...so just a sec.........)

$ 10,000 in premium and they wanna charge me more! They are freakin' idiots!

So...any suggestions for good insurance? Cuz I am ready to tell him to stick it where the sun DON'T shine!



{{{Ok, I DO realize hitting the garage is my fault...I am not blameless, but getting ripped off---I ain't into that. So there, I admitted I was WRONG...but only for hitting the garage door!!}}}}

Mess with the Bull....You get the horns!!!

Come on...just give it to me....it is my day. I should have just stayed in bed this morning....

This crazy lady (client of ours) called today yellling...I didn't know why at first, but she was loosing it...grunting to herself and everything. It was like Heroshima with the F Bombs flying around! Then the wench hung up on me...ok fine. I get it you are mad, I can see her point. No problem. So I bend over backwards, calling the manufacturer, making him accountable for their crappy product, and he is going to personally go to this Wacko lady's house to fix this chair--that SHE has messed up (BTW). So, I let the FBombs slide and figure out a way to get this taken care of. I call her...in my oh-so-nice-to-chat-with-you-(FREAK) voice. She starts yelling again...I was shocked! I had a solution to her mess...shouldn't even be my freakin' problem, and the hoochie was freakin' screamin' at me! OH NO SHE DIDN'T!! But, the wench hung up before I could respond. I was fumin'....so, I decide I'm gonna take the high road and kill her with kindness....but I will not be hung up on TWICE!! So, I called her back...."I'm so sorry," I said, "I guess we had a bad connection." She then starts ranting about her busy day on Saturday...giving me very specific details fast....so I repeat them back to her, to be sure I have her life all organized (Like I really give a flying truck!) I said, "Herculeen, MO" and she goes off...AGAIN...

"NO!! LISTEN TO ME FARMGIRL....I WILL E-N-U-N-C-I-A-T-E F-O-R Y-O-U!! I- S-A-I-D- H-E-R-C-L-A-N-I-U-M , MO!" Then she demanded a freakin' credit....she hasn't even PAID FOR IT YET!! SHE OWES US $$$$$. I sweetly say, "I am sorry, I can't issue a credit when we have not been paid." Then, it was Pearl Harbor...FBOMBS...and she hung up! I bet you see where this is going....I am pretty easy to predict...

I called her back...."Really bad connection we have today, isn't it?" I said ever so sweetly. She said she was busy, then said bye, then hung up.

Manners people!! Ya want respect? Ya want me to help you? Then be freakin' nice and don't cuss me out! I didn't screw up your chair--YOU DID! I can't give you a credit--YOU HAVEN'T PAID!! I will walk thru fire for my family, friends, and my clients...I will fight battles that I should not have to fight....but let me tell you something, don't disrespect me! Don't yell at me! Don't hang up on me! I ain't puttin' up with that shit!

So, Miss Herculanim, MO (wherever the heck that is)...........BITE ME!!!