Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A Riddle that works...


I won't ask your age,you probably would tell a falsehood anyway, Lordy knows I'm still 29!! Anyway, check this out....

It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read. Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not one of those waste of time things, unless you really do have somthing to do!!

1. First of all, pick the number of
times a week that you would like to go out to eat. (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).

3. Add 5.

4. Multiply it by 50.

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758;
if you haven't, add 1757.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number. The first digit was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week).
The next two numbers are -----

YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!)


How do people come up with this? And it is true!! I just am not that smart!!


Look What I Found!!

This whole cyber world still amazes me. I was out searching for John Deere things, and low and behold, I ran across these photos. I am so sad that the great state of Kansas made this new world record this year, but so proud that "farmers" got together to do this!! 160 acres were harvested with 100 combines and several grain trucks in 10 minutes and 15 seconds--can you BELIEVE that??? Holy macaroni!! What is really neat is that a portion of the crops were donated to a children's camp!

Farmer's ROCK!! Especially REAL farmers, you know, the ones that drive GREENE!!

YeE HaW!!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I need some crackers please....

Ok...I busted my butt getting all my stuff done so I'd be ready. I, of course, am talking about CSI: Miami. I hustled the kid to bed and hubbie in the shower. I am ready to see what has happened to Mr. One-liner Cane...is he dead...or has he beaten the odds yet again!(you know he survived a small militia in Brazil) I started watching it laying down, but Wolfe was getting on my nerves, so I had to sit up.

I had my phone ready...ready to call my pal PJ if her "pal" Wolfe was a part of this set up. (She, for whatever reason, has "faith" is the jerk.) Shoot, I called during the 1st break and she didn't even answer the phone with "Hello, FarmGirl". Instead I got, "FarmGirl...Wolfe is a good guy...blah blah blah". Why does she like this punk anyway? I digress....

The initial storyline was great...I was ready to and willing to become part of the "Hunt the Wolfe Club"--I WANTED to be a part of that club! But nope...Wolfe was a good guy (he drives me batty) and the storyline was ruined in less than 15 minutes! Who the heck wrote this episode? I mean, what the hell? Who in their right mind would spoil a whole 3+ months anticipation by spilling the beans before the 2nd break? Had I not been waiting ALL SUMMER! I DESERVED a GREAT episode...what I got was cheese....cheese....cheese---from ALL of them! WTF? That was a crappy ass episode! So much cheese, and NO CRACKERS!!

So, I have included some of the finest "cheese" ever served by Horatio (somehow it's tolerable coming from him) for those, like me, that fell short of being entertained last night. Enjoy!

David Caruso s CSI One-Liners

Friday, September 19, 2008

Sister Flo's Cousin

Saw this on another blog, and cracked up...then Flo came to visit me...it's not so funny anymore!!

And that's all I gotta say....

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Idiot Roll Call

Ok...so the truth is out. My dear, wonderful hubbie officially thinks I am an idiot. Why, you wonder? So glad you asked...........

(Hubby painting barn...Hubby out of paint...hubby calling FarmGirl)

Me: Hello
Him: I'm outta paint
Me: Okayyyyyyyyyy, do you want me to get some?
Him: Ya, I need three 5 gallon buckets...barn and fence paint.
Me: Ok, I'll stop at Tractor Supply
Him: It needs to be barn and fence paint
(No shit sherlock, you are painting a barn, right? DUH)
Me: Ya, I remember...I picked it up last time
Him: I need THREE... (I imagine him holding up 3 fingers)
Me: Got it
Him: Barn and fence paint...the red label
Me: Ok
Him: Call me when you get there...it's the red label
(Shut the hell up! I get it!!)
Me: Got it
Him: Don't forget to call
Me: Ok (jerk)

So I go in the store, to get the freakin' paint....

(Phone rings)

Him: Did you get it? You didn't call
(I just got off the phone with you, moron!)
Me: The guy is getting it from the back.
Him: I need THREE, ok? (Using his high pitch kid voice)
Him: You're getting the Barn & Fence paint, right?
Me: Yes
Him: The white?
Me: Yes
Him: The guy is getting the red label, right?
Me: Yes
Him: ok, see ya in a bit

I get the paint loaded, am heading home.....

(Phone rings, *sigh*)

Me: hello
Him: So did you get it?
Me: yes
Him: The barn fence paint, right?
Me: yes
Him: The red label, you got the red label right?
Me: yes... (I am starting to feel ornery now)
Me: Ya, I got five, 3 gallons.


Him: What?
(oh this is too fun!! Too easy!!)
Me: Ya, I got five, just like you told me.
Him: I didn't say five. Did you really get FIVE?
Me: Yes you said FIVE, 1-2-3-4-5
(hee hee...they don't make it in 3 gallons)
Him: (almost yelling) YOU GOT FIVE??? How much money did you spend?
Me: a little over $400
(I am seriously trying not to giggle....he is wiggin' out)
Him: Ok....ok.....well, we can take it back. You have the reciept, right?
(Do I look that ignorant!! Give me a freakin' break!)
Me: No...I told her I didn't need the reciept....sorry
(ok, I am crying---I am laughing way to hard)
Me: Hey, I got another call, I'll see you in about 20 minutes...bye

So, he's calling back, freakin' out! I mean seriously, I am an educated woman! But I don't answer the phone. I pull in the driveway, and here he comes! OMG...I swear I could hear his footsteps in the grass...he looked like a big ole Sasquatch! I ran in the house, cuz I am laughing so hard!! I watch from the window as he opens the back hatch...then he looks to the house, back to the THREE buckets of FIVE gallon paint!

Who's an idiot now, MISTER!!!

(Ahh....that would be my loving hubbie....he is so much fun to mess with!!)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Decor Montage Unfolded---and the Tween

Turns out the whole weekend wasn't completely wasted. I was dog sick on Saturday, but come Sunday, I felt well enough between naps to scatter more "stuff" through the house. Hubby tried to pretend that it was the last thing he wanted to do, but he really did enjoy it...he's the one that got the ladder, measured and cut it---withOUT me asking!! He tries to play tough---but he ain't nothin!!

((See slide show below))

I must tell a funny story about my daughter. Now that 5th grade is here, she has unfortunately discovered that boys are cute. I try to not laugh as she gushes about playing kickball with the boys, or that so n-so hit her on the arm....the secret language of a 5th grader...ahhh. Anyway, so she is "going with" this one kid...(who is worse than a woman on the phone!! AHHH!! And yes, Momma laid the law...she's only 10 for pete's sake!!) Okay, so yesterday, I get home and she tells me she needs to "talk" to me. I am thinking, good grief, now what. So I sit down and she steps in front of me and says, "I broke up with Travin." Now, I KNOW she is testing me...to see if I start laughing (I find this whole tween thing pretty humorous, most of the time). I calmly nod my head, no smiling...."I just told him that the relationship just wasn't working out." She then smiled, and went to playing her trumpet. What the heck was that...my 10 year old...acting so...adult. Sheesh...she is better at communicating than I am. Then....I went outside to call AJ to giggle about insane phone boy won't be calling anymore---such a great VICTORY for me!! One boy down...and hopefully not anymore to go...til' she's 25 or something!!

YeE HaW!

Rainy Day Decorating

Thursday, September 11, 2008

God Bless you all...I remember

Do you remember? I sure do...who will ever forget this? I was on my way to work, a sales meeting, when it first came over the airwaves...a plane has hit the World Trade Center. I thought I had heard wrong...can this really be happening? Surely not...then the 2nd plane. I thought I was going to vomit. I was crying and shaking my head in disbelief. All those people, their families....I prayed and prayed, saying the Lord's prayer as fast as I could...over and over, I couldn't think of anything else...I was in shock, disbelief.

We watched the horror together that day, in the bank. It was so quiet, no rustling of papers, no phones ringing--just us, as we all cried silently, men & women, holding hands, hugging, trying to make sense of this horrific event. I wanted to leave so badly and get my little girl, 3 at the time, and just hug her, love her. Did I tell her I loved her this morning...did she hear me? I just cannot imagine anything more tragic to happen to innocent people. We watched in silence and horror as the Towers fell. Then I was angry...so angry that ANYONE would do something like this. I felt like a trapped animal...I remember shaking, wanting to hit something, then feeling so weak...I felt so helpless.

Today, on the radio while I was driving to work, the station had a moment of silence with a music montage of sound clips from that day. A 9-1-1 phone call...a woman named Melissa who had called begging for help and the dispatcher praying with her, trying to soothe her, knowing that her voice was the last Melissa would most likely hear...then there was silence--Melissa's voice was there no longer, no longer praying and begging for help...only the dispatcher calling her name, and praying to God.

I cried today...listening to that, remembering. It felt just as horrible today as it did that day. I cried for all those families, mommies and daddies, that are no longer here. I cried for the brave men & women firefighters, that risked their lives to save so few. I cried for the pain & sorrow of all those that lost a loved one. I cried for America, my beloved country.

Oh yes, I remember...I will never forget. May God Bless you all, that no one will ever have to experience anything this horrific again. Keep your family & friends close today, tell them you love them.


7:58 a.m. - United Airlines Flight 175 departs Boston for Los Angeles,
carrying 56 passengers, two pilots, and seven flight attendants. The
Boeing 767 is hijacked after takeoff and diverted to New York.

7:59 a.m. - American Airlines Flight 11 departs Boston for Los
Angeles, carrying 81 passengers, two pilots, and nine flight
attendants. This Boeing 767 is also hijacked and diverted to New York.

8:01 a.m. - United Airlines Flight 93, a Boeing 757 carrying 38
passengers, two pilots, and five flight attendants, leaves Newark, N.J.,
for San Francisco.

8:10 a.m. - American Airlines Flight 77 departs Washington's
Dulles International Airport for Los Angeles, carrying 58 passengers,
two pilots, and four flight attendants. The Boeing 757 is hijacked
after takeoff.

8:46 a.m. - American Flight 11 from Boston crashes into the North
Tower at the World Trade Center.

9:03 a.m. - United Flight 175 from Boston crashes into the South
Tower at the World Trade Center.

- U.S. Federal Aviation Administration shuts down all New
York area airports.

9:21 a.m. - Bridges and tunnels leading into New York City
are closed.

9:25 a.m. - All domestic flights are grounded by U.S. Federal
Aviation Administration.

9:45 a.m. - American Flight 77 crashes into The Pentagon.

10:05 a.m. - The South Tower at the World Trade Center collapses.

10:05 a.m. - The White House is evacuated.

10:10 a.m. - A large section of one side of The Pentagon collapses.

10:10 a.m. - United Flight 93 crashes in a wooded area in
Pennsylvania, after passengers confront hijackers.

10:28 a.m. - The North Tower at the World Trade Center collapses.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Mess with the Bull....You get the horns!!!

Come on...just give it to me....it is my day. I should have just stayed in bed this morning....

This crazy lady (client of ours) called today yellling...I didn't know why at first, but she was loosing it...grunting to herself and everything. It was like Heroshima with the F Bombs flying around! Then the wench hung up on me...ok fine. I get it you are mad, I can see her point. No problem. So I bend over backwards, calling the manufacturer, making him accountable for their crappy product, and he is going to personally go to this Wacko lady's house to fix this chair--that SHE has messed up (BTW). So, I let the FBombs slide and figure out a way to get this taken care of. I call her...in my oh-so-nice-to-chat-with-you-(FREAK) voice. She starts yelling again...I was shocked! I had a solution to her mess...shouldn't even be my freakin' problem, and the hoochie was freakin' screamin' at me! OH NO SHE DIDN'T!! But, the wench hung up before I could respond. I was fumin'....so, I decide I'm gonna take the high road and kill her with kindness....but I will not be hung up on TWICE!! So, I called her back...."I'm so sorry," I said, "I guess we had a bad connection." She then starts ranting about her busy day on Saturday...giving me very specific details fast....so I repeat them back to her, to be sure I have her life all organized (Like I really give a flying truck!) I said, "Herculeen, MO" and she goes off...AGAIN...

"NO!! LISTEN TO ME FARMGIRL....I WILL E-N-U-N-C-I-A-T-E F-O-R Y-O-U!! I- S-A-I-D- H-E-R-C-L-A-N-I-U-M , MO!" Then she demanded a freakin' credit....she hasn't even PAID FOR IT YET!! SHE OWES US $$$$$. I sweetly say, "I am sorry, I can't issue a credit when we have not been paid." Then, it was Pearl Harbor...FBOMBS...and she hung up! I bet you see where this is going....I am pretty easy to predict...

I called her back...."Really bad connection we have today, isn't it?" I said ever so sweetly. She said she was busy, then said bye, then hung up.

Manners people!! Ya want respect? Ya want me to help you? Then be freakin' nice and don't cuss me out! I didn't screw up your chair--YOU DID! I can't give you a credit--YOU HAVEN'T PAID!! I will walk thru fire for my family, friends, and my clients...I will fight battles that I should not have to fight....but let me tell you something, don't disrespect me! Don't yell at me! Don't hang up on me! I ain't puttin' up with that shit!

So, Miss Herculanim, MO (wherever the heck that is)...........BITE ME!!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Here Ya Go....Jay Leno!!!

Yes, this is REAL!! Right close to home!! I am still crackin' up! Who in the world edits this NEWSPAPER!! Warren Funeral Home has to be pitchin' a fit....or maybe not! When I saw this, I just had to share. I must go now to giggle, some more!! Sheesh....ok....GIGGLE!! I hope someone got a hard copy of this and sent it in. I just happened to stumble across it last week, and since I have acquired "new skills" thought I would share with the rest of you!

(FYI...Warren Funeral Home has been shut down while they are under investigation for not doing their job right. A big mess....check out the Fulton Sun for more details)

Can you BELIEVE IT!! I got an award!! (UPDATE)

YIPEEEE!! My bloggy pal, Momster, has tagged me and she thinks I am cool. Ok, Ok, she likes the blog...haha! If I was smart enough to figure out how to post this cute little award, I would. I have requested my pal Momster to help me--Pathetic, aren't I!! I am so lucky to have met this lady...be sure to check her out...she is also a teammate on our new blog Hot Like Me & You!! FUN FUN FUN!!!

Back to the point (I ramble lots...sheesh!)There are rules in accepting this award. I have to answer the following questions with one word answers. I know, I know...me and one word answers...a funny thought! But I have accepted this challenge, and THEN...I must pass this award on to seven people. I will now complete the task at hand! Have fun!!

The questions are as follows:
1. Where is your cell phone? Purse
2. Where is your significant other? Farmin'
3. Your hair color? Brunette
4. Your mother? Millie
5. Your father? Stanley
6. Your favorite thing? Family
7. Your dream last night? wierd
8. Your dream/goal? contentment
9. The room you're in? work
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? loss
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? content
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you're not? satisfied
15. One of your wish-list items? Wii
16. Where you grew up? Missouri
17. The last thing you did? blogged
18. What are you wearing? jeans
19. Your TV? flat-screen
20. Your pet? lots
21. Your computer? slow
22. Your mood? tired
23. Missing someone? yes
24. Your car? Pacifica
25. Something you're not wearing? watch
26. Favorite store? Randolph-Mercantile
27. Your summer? SHORT
28. Love someone? yes
29. Your favorite color? earth-tones
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? yesterday

And for my seven blogs to tag (this is where it gets difficult...since I am slow in responding, many of my bloggy pals are tagged & I can't quite figure out how to get their blogs to post right....) I am taking a deep breath and gonna give it a shot.....
And Hania Makes Three
Girls Gone Mild
From Dawn Till Rusk
Candid Carrie
Sleepless Sabra
Heaven's Gift

Ok, so I only have 6...but I am hoping my effort is what matters most. I am still pretty new to this bloggy scene....but be sure to check out this new blog! It is a group of us gals kickin' those extra pounds to the curb!! So check it out...together we can all be Hot Like Me & You


((HOLY MOTHER OF DIVINE THINGS!! I GOT IT!! I for real figured out the link thingy and the picture posting...BY MYSELF!! I am feeling pretty saucy right now...I know it may not sound like a big deal, but no worries...because I figured it out!! YIPEEEEEEE! And all the links work and the pic is there!! Have I mentioned that I LOVE LOVE Blogging....holy cow! I will now stop singing and start my happy dance....go FarmGirl...GO GO....GO FarmGirl!! YEE FREAKIN' HAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!